THE AUTHENTIC BASIS FOR A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE AND HIGH SELF-ESTEEM
As long as we live from our conditioned self-image, our self-esteem levels are conditioned too. And we’re also stuck in small, cramped quarters — in an identity too small for who we actually are. You can think of your conditioned self-image as a “surface identity.”
If you are to create and enjoy a life that can be well-lived, loved and understood, you must move beyond this surface identity. And on into your deeper core identity, into who you truly are.
Your deeper core identity is the only place you will find an authentic basis for high self-esteem. Because at the end of the day, even a positive self-image is still a mask. And you want your self-esteem to be sourced from who you genuinely are. Not from a mask based on others views of who you are.
You need self-knowledge to break free from negative self-esteem and its very limiting consequences. Because you can’t become free from what you haven’t seen.
You need to become aware of your self-image’s habitual patterns and programs, by discovering, studying and understanding them.
Only then can you free yourself from the conditioned limits of living small at the wrong address. You won’t find real happiness if you don’t break free from your conditioning.
Your self-image carries with it fear, doubt and hesitation because they are its nature. Life at the surface is shaky and uncertain. You are not afraid and hesitant and unsure of yourself because you are lacking in self-esteem.
It’s not you that’s the real problem, though you may feel convinced that you are. The problem is the “location” you’re living in and from.
Thinking that insecurity and uncertainty are your fault is a costly misunderstanding. One that reflects a lack of awareness of the nature and power of your “location”— as your psychological address.
When you are in Seattle in the winter, you get wet. Getting wet comes with the territory when you live in Seattle because it’s a location where it rains often in the winter.
When you are located at your wrong address, when you live from your conditioned self-image, then fear, doubt, and hesitation are as common as rain is in Seattle in January. They, too, come with the territory.
THE ONLY THING YOU’ll EVER REALLY NEED
Here’s a glimpse of our dilemma. Our conditioned self-image, our “I” or “me,” is all we know. Because it appears to be who we are, we wrongly conclude that it must be.
But the earth appears flat and it’s not, and the sun appears to rise, but it doesn’t — so we need to really be open the possibility that we are more than we appear to be to ourselves.
Once we are awakened by a taste of something deeper and more real within ourselves, we can become inspired to “relocate” from our wrong address to our true address.
This relocation project is the path of Depth Therapy, of deep psychological inner work. That’s why Depth Therapy is sometimes referred to as a Great Journey Home.
Through this awakening to who we truly are, we realize that no efforts we make to merely refurnish our wrong address will ever make it feel like home again.
We have to move. No prizes, no awards, no fat 401Ks, no high-paying work we don’t want to do will ever satisfy our hunger for relief, satisfaction and fulfillment.
Genuine positive self-esteem, serenity, unflappable self-assurance and well-being come from a single realization. That all we really ever need to face life’s challenges, including death, is to relax into a connection to who we truly are.